Do Something

Yesterday our agenda was changed.  Sometimes it irritates me, but I know He has a plan... Today He showed us a bit of that plan. 

We went to General Hospital and in one of the pediatric rooms there was a boy that looked to be 2-4 years old.  Severely malnourished.  We talked with the mom who said that he has severe diaherra and vomiting.  Just thought to ask a few more questions about the color of his poo, wondering if it might be cholera.  Yes.  And He was not being treated.  No meds, no fluids.  He will die.

There is a song by Matthew West that talks about the injustice in this world and in it he asks why God doesn't "do something" about it.  He said "I created you"!

If not us than who...
If not me and you...
Right now.  It's time for us to do something.
If not now then when.... 
It's time for us to do something.

So, I messaged a friend of mine that works with malnourished kids and asked her to help.  At 10 pm last night she called a sitter and jumped on a moto taxi to "do something".  She did.  She went to the hospital, found the child, and said that they had put it on antibiotics and fluids. Praise The Lord!  

While she was there, another baby was put in her path that she is going back to help today.  

Do something.  What does that mean to you...today?

What's next Lord?

It's hard to live in America.

Some days it is worse than others, but every day a piece of me dreams of home.  Over the last few months, God has really been teaching me to be still.  "Be still and know that I am God."  I know He is God, but getting taken away by the things of this world and then hoping God will keep up, messes with that concept.  Be still, Amy.

I don't know how to do that.  When God gives me a prompting to do something for His kingdom, it's really hard to find the balance of "do" and "be".  I'm a doer.  Just being means that I am lazy, or so I think.  God has really revealed to me that He has this path all laid out, that it will be easy for me to see, IF I just walk in His ways.  Walk in His ways.  Gods plans for us are to walk in His ways.

Sometimes I feel like God is mean.  He only shows us a tiny glimpse of what is ahead. I don't think He allows us to see very far down His path for good reason.  When I can see where the path goes, then I forget to hold His hand during the journey.  He wants me to need Him. What do you have for me on this path today, Lord?

Help me to be content with where you have me today and not wishing for tomorrow.

Dlo...Water

The verse, for I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, obviously is impactful for me.  We take water for granted. We can turn on the faucet, which is amazing on its own, and it is safe to drink. 

Ben is in Haiti right now and he is delivering water to the most dangerous slum in the world.  Hmm... I sit on the comfy couch with my glass of clean water and don't think twice about dumping it out when it is warm.  Or maybe I do now... 

                              My kids don't need to help me bring water home in buckets.

                                      We take showers every day and it is easy. 

                                  The average 5 gallon bucket of water weighs about 40 lbs.

                                       And most women carry them on their heads.

                                       So many buckets and not enough water...

 When the truck is empty, the people with dry buckets will wait until we come back to help them again.

The filling station where we fill up the tanker truck with water to deliver to the slums.

*Lord, keep Ben and his team safe in this dangerous place.  Provide for each person what they need for today...

but I don't know how, Lord!

"Sometimes people are reluctant to do more for God.  They feel stretched beyond their limits as it is.  But anyone willing to break through their fears will discover that life is best and most satisfying when we're living God's adventure"  --Bruce Wilkinson from Beyond Jabez.

In November 2012 I felt God calling me to maternity care in Haiti.  What?  I don't know anything about that!  I want to do something I know.  I know kids, I know special ed, I know leading teams.  This is new and unknown.  There is no explanation for this calling.  Thank you Lord?...I think.  

I want to do His will.  I want to follow Him where ever He leads me.  But... this scares me.  I am not equipped!  I know, He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.  A dear friend of mine suggested I take a doula class.  Hmm...maybe.  Sounds like a plan.  Or maybe I will just wait for another prompting from the Lord. 

As I was fasting and praying for my February 2013 team, a man that I barely knew gave me an envelope with cash in it.  He said it was for me, for Haiti.  I took it to Haiti expecting God to use it.  He didn't.  I came home feeling like maybe I didn't listen close enough or maybe it was for another trip.  I saw him at church a few weeks later and he asked me about my trip.  As I started to explain what I felt like God was leading me to next, he asked the cost of becoming a doula.  It is the exact amount that he had handed to me in that envelope.  Amy, do you hear me?  Isn't this enough for you to listen? 

I'll sit.  I'll ponder.  I'll run.  Maybe.  Make my path clear, Lord.

This 15 day old baby in Cite Soleil broke my heart for the moms in Haiti.  I hear you Lord. 

Still, I come home, I get back into life and try to push it away.  Put it on a shelf for another day. 

Several other friends have challenged me not to wait.  As I was talking to one of those friends yesterday, I told her about a class this weekend to start the process of becoming a doula.  There are so many excuses to wait.  As I spoke with her, God made it clear that I shouldn't wait.  Ok.  I'm not gonna wait anymore. 

Class starts Friday :)    use me Lord. 

God has blessed me

I irritate myself.  I get so caught up in my life and all the stuff around me that I forget about how much He has blessed me.  I take for granted the little things.  I say little, but I really mean big. 
Today it's about my stove.  I hate cleaning the stove.  I whine and cry about it and it still doesn't get clean.  So lame.  It hit me today when I was looking at the front of the stove and how dirty it is.  Yucko.  I thought, why don't I take care of the things He has given me?  Why?  I have a stove!  It's lovely.  And dirty.  I have a dirty stove. 

A haitian stove.

I wrestle with the balance.  I am happy I have things and I think because I have them I should be taking care of them, but then the other part says to spend time with family.  Don't worry about things like the dirty stove. 

Balance.  Thankfulness.  Blessings. 

Sorry and obsessed

I just got back from Haiti.  I'm feeling sorry this time.  Sorry that I am not staying there.  I know it's a weird word to describe my feelings, but it's the only word that comes to my mind.  I love the people there.  I love the country. 

Brunet, a beautiful man of God

Websters describes the meaning of sorry as:

1. apologetic: feeling or expressing regret for an action that has upset or inconvenienced somebody, or is likely to do so. I'm not sure if I have inconvenienced someone or not but I feel regret for leaving. 
2. sympathetic: feeling or expressing sympathy or empathy, especially because of something that has happened.  Nothing specific happened.  Just leaving.

I don't know.  I am not feeling sorry for the Haitians.  I am feeling more sorry for myself.  On my first trip to Haiti I came home feeling sad because we don't worship God like they do, yet we have everything to be thankful for.   What can I learn from this?  How do you want me to live, Lord?  Obsessed with you?

A proud momma wanting me to hold her baby

Yes.  I want to be obsessed with Him.  Francis Chan in his book Crazy Love explains what being obsessed with Him may look like...
 
"People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another.  Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him". 

Michaela Martell loving Haiti

A boy and his bucket of water delivered by Healing Haiti

Yep.  I am obsessed.  Waiting sucks.  I know it is in His timing that this sorriness and obsession will all work together.  Show me Lord what that looks like.  I'm waiting.

When God Speaks...

Sometimes it hurts.  I ask and ask and ask.  I want the Lord to speak to me.  Sometimes it is not what I am wanting to hear.  Does that ever happen to you?  I ask for something specific and He doesn't answer, (at least I don't hear or see an answer) or I ask generically for Him to speak to me and He tells me to fast and pray.
For a week.  Specific instructions; one meal a day, rice and beans, for the entire week before my trip to Haiti.

Ok Lord, I get it.  Obey me in the little things and I will trust you with much.  I know, I know.  But I like to eat.  Today is day 1 of obedience.  The rice is in the cooker and the beans are from a can being heated in the microwave.  And I get so impatient.  I am frustrated that I don't have minute rice and that the microwave plate in the microwave is broken.  Inconvenient. 

I really should be trying to make them over a charcoal fire like the Haitians do, but He didn't tell me specific instructions on cooking.


I will eat them salted on a tin plate with a spoon.  I am thankful for salt.  And a plate and a spoon.

My main prayer is for the team I am thrilled to be bringing to this nation that has changed my life.

Lord give me the eyes that you want me to have.  Make my vision very clear.  Direct my path.  Give me courage and strength to step out of my comfort zone and serve you as you want me to serve.  

One

I met with my Eagle Brook Healing Haiti team yesterday for our commissioning service.  I absolutely love this new family I have!  Their hearts are so open to what God has for them in the beautiful country of Haiti.  I have been struggling a lot lately with the idea of doing the things that the Lord has laid out for me; being a piece of a gigantic puzzle and wanting to make sure it is played in the right spot.  As long as I am listening to God, it is exactly the right spot.  But how much of what I "hear from God" is actually me thinking He is speaking but I am wanting it so badly that it is actually me?  I want to walk, listen and obey Him, and I also want my walking to be in line with what He wants.  Is this the right direction, Lord? 

 "In the end God works in our world one person at a time.  The hungry are fed, the thirsty are refreshed, the naked are clothed, the sick are treated, the illiterate are educated, and the grieving are comforted, just ONE PERSON AT A TIME.  You have the opportunity to be that one person to someone who needs what you have to offer.  And what you have to offer is never small and insignificant.  Again, the great picture of what God is doing in our world is incomplete without your unique puzzle piece-the one that only you posses.  But you have to choose to play that piece of the puzzle".

I am choosing to play.  

EBC Haiti Team 2! 

My next trip to Haiti is February 25- March 4... only 2 short (or long) weeks away.  My prayer is that my heart with be ready.   That the team's hearts will be empty vessels, waiting to be filled with You, Lord!  

What if I'm the one?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qsl75Sno9MA